Relationship Advice You Don’t Want To Hear
I was actually in two minds about whether or not I should blog about this on a beautiful Sunday morning. But it’s not fair if I think of an idea and not write about it… why be a blogger then! And I’m quite tired of the whole “what will people think” scenario. It’s my blog & I have every right to use it for a noble cause. Of course, it’s a noble cause. Anything that can save a heartbreak IS (in my opinion) a noble cause.
So, how to spot a douchebag… and are you dating one? Well when you’re truly in love & you care for someone genuinely, your judgment radar can be wonky… So these are some warnings/advices etc whatever you want to call them .. & oh ya, I am in no way generalizing all males or females… I truly believe that there will be at least one person in the world whom you can truly trust blindly – yourself.
9 Ways To Spot A DoucheBag
1) Douchebags suddenly disappear.
Douchebags are selfish & have just one motive in life – to increase the number of girls they can bed & it’s perfectly normal for them to suddenly disappear without an explanation and reappear with another woman in matter of days. Oh and they obviously have no issues in jumping standards in women as long as it’s a girl.
And if at all you get to confront them, they will make it seem as if it is your fault that they cheated on you. Just like how half the male population in India believes that it is the girl’s fault when she’s raped? I know it’s a different tangent but it is the same mentality. The thing is… no relationship is perfect. There are bound to be differences and difficulties in making something work but the whole point of a relationship is working through it TOGETHER. I cannot emphasize how wrong it is to be blindsided and left waiting. That’s immoral. But unfortunately, douchebags are also fundamentally stupid. They are problem avoiders, even if the problem is as serious as CHEATING. All the more they will avoid or resort to stupid reasoning like it’s your fault.
2) When the relationship is just too good to be true.
You understand each other so well. You both hit if off perfectly. You guys completely pour your hearts out when you are talking… He’s a super amazing listener. There have never been big fights but silly ‘oh-so-lovable’ fights & you start thinking that he’s like your family ….. umm, TOO GOOD to be true! You know what’s the truth? The only reason he tolerates you is because he wants to get into your pants. The only reason he brings you out, he meets you is ONLY because he wants to have sex with you. They show fake concern & love just so that you get impressed and make out with them. If that guy is making such over the top promises, showing more than required concern and sending flowery messages every other day… it should ring a warning bell immediately!
3) Oh, he’s my best friend, he can’t do this to me!
WRONG. That’s where we make the mistake, girls. It might almost seem ideal to date a friend because of the understanding you share. You are the best buddies, you know each others’ secrets, you talk about all the shit in the world, do the funniest things, watch the most ridiculous movies and it might seem wonderful when you start dating your best buddy and ….how can a friend hurt you, right? Lol, douchebags are selfish people. They really don’t care and it’s a complete reflection of their upbringing. SO the second warning is that – DO NOT assume that a friend will never do this to you. Do what? Wham bam thank you ma’am! EVEN if you know him as friend for over a year (or more) before starting to date, it really doesn’t matter. Because the truth is – he never considered you as one. You were always an object to him. He only considered spending time with you because he wanted the easy access to come to your house, whenever possible.
4) Guys who tend to write flowery messages ….. like the ones below…
Umm, how sweet no? It’s all bullshit. People who write such elaborated texts are bored in life and have nothing better to do. They are so capable of promising the sun, the moon, the universe, everything to you because they know they can’t impress you with looks, money, intelligence… so the only way to get into your good books is by showing love and affection. DON’T fall for it.
5) Friends who hit on you even when they are attached.
AHH yes, delete them immediately from your life & system. After a point, it’s not healthy. We tend to laugh it off or dismiss it casually thinking that it is just harmless flirting & it’s not a big deal for many of us. BUT sometimes, for the person who’s hitting on you (repeatedly), the flirting is more than just casually intended…. they want MORE than random “ha ha he he” conversations. These guys pretend to be all modern & shit but deep down, they think that girls who flirt, who come from a foreign country and live on their own will be perfectly okay with one night stands. They are very quick to judge & categorize such women.
6) Liars.
But obvious! Ok from my above point, I am not saying that “one night stands” are bad… it’s absolutely OKAY if both parties are OKAY with a one night stand. I am just saying that it should be made clear from the start. Douchebags are the ones who will pretend that they are serious about commitment & they look down on “one night stands” but will secretly want one with you. They will however have no guts to say it, out of the fear, that they will lose their chances with the girl. So, they start saying showing how much of a committed lover they are and once they sleep with you, they disappear.
7) Never date guys that are way below your standards.
This includes everything – intelligence, designation, looks etc… Be as SUPERFICIAL as you can get with your standards. Yeah, people might think you’re too proud or arrogant but trust me, THIS will at least filter some of the nonsensical ones…For eg. if you broke up with a hot guy, at least you can tell your friends that he was hot … but if you date an ugly, fat kid, you will forever regret how low your standards dropped to… bleah.
8) He trash talks his exes.
He will paint a very sad story of his previous relationship like how his girlfriend was too demanding, too controlling, a crazy bitch who thinks he is too fat OR how his girlfriends’ parents want dowry like a house or something from him. Yeah, something as laughable and bizarre as that. Well, ya most of the time nobody really goes around praising their ex but always pay attention to how a guy talks about his current or ex-girlfriend—because one day, that’s exactly how he’ll talk about you! He won’t hesitate to lie to you or lie about you. But girls, please get this straight: No matter how sad a story he paints about his past relationship, if he hasn’t broken up with his ex & yet he is initiating a relationship with you, it’s NOT normal.
9) His friends are random.
Barring the common friend circle you share, douchebags tend to have very random people in their lives. So do pay attention to people they hang out with other than your immediate friend circle. They don’t keep in touch with school friends, hostel friends, college friends or even postgrad friends and they’ve no qualms about it either. They might appear super friendly but their friendships have limited depth. It’s quite possible that they are cool with forgoing all past relationships they’ve made before. And I feel sorry for such idiots because they take pride in it. Sadly, they don’t realise that in an urge to appear cool etc, they lose people who genuinely cared about them.
Well, respecting someone is just as important as liking or loving them. From when we are young, we are taught to treat people how we want to be treated. And if we do, people will treat us well in return. But, it’s just not the case. You find out people will hurt you, disappoint you, and even disappear on you. Once again I am not generalizing all men here. It definitely sucks to be betrayed and cheated by the person who probably meant a lot to you. These people definitely have no sense of maturity and will never be able develop depth in relationships in a long long time. It’s bullshit when they consider someone a girlfriend or boyfriend & they are likely to be still stuck in high school dating phase. They are too weak & it’s best you know how to spot them.
Have a great Sunday & be good people ! 😀
