“Time is running out! If you do not get married NOW, you’ll be left alone with black cats, childless with no sex partner and eventually die an old maid in an isolated house”.
The nominal trepidations that have peeved my poor ears lately!
As a kid, I think most of us fantasized about what we’d be when we grew up, where we’d live, what we’d do for a living, whom we’d get married to and what we’d name our kids… Yes been there, done that! Maybe I still do keep a fantasy wish list. But as you grow older, you develop ambitions; you are torn between what is real and what is surreal. You need time to figure out your possibilities. Your fantasy list keeps getting shorter and shorter. And you start to feel that you are actually getting old!
Well, say HELLO to Quarter-Life Crisis !
I am apparently approaching the age where my parents think that I should be engaged, married, start a family or be rightfully thinking about all three. My mother got married when she was 20 and already had me by the time she was 21. And by the time she was 25, my parents had their own house, car and a 4 year old kid. It is scary because I’m pretty sure by the time I hit 25, I definitely will not be married, will not have a kid, no house, no car….. and I still doubt whether I will be well settled in a career!
Is it weird that I do not remotely feel the need to experience such life-changing events, as yet?
I have always wanted to make a name for myself. I want to do something I love and make a career out of it. It will take some time but I know I will get there. This phase of my life is allowing me to discover myself, who I actually am as a person and live life for myself. So how can I commit to another person? Especially when I know I will never get this time back, especially when I know I am not ready?
I clearly feel that there is no “perfect” age when one should get married, start a family or buy a house. Every person is born with a unique timeline and people should stop judging others who are living life on their own terms. It’s a challenge sometimes, in fact pressurizing, especially for someone like me who does wonder about the future.
Sharing something I found online:
Signs you’re having a Quarter-Life Crisis (Courtesy : Stylishthought.com)
1. Job Dissatisfaction: When the thought of going into work sends you into a tailspin of hives and uncontrollable anxiety it may be a larger issue.
2. You Feel Clueless: You know that you want a better life but are clueless as to how to accomplish it. To make matters worse, it seems as if everyone else has everything figured out, but YOU!
3. Hibernation Mode: When you’re experiencing a quarter life crisis things like socializing and friends become less important. You become reclusive and life seems drab and uneventful.
4. Money Woes: For most of us our 20s are our first foray into money management and paying bills. The stress of college loans, managing money and living can be overwhelming.
5. Lack of Ambition: Remember the passion you had in college? When you’re in a quarter-life crisis that passion is lost. Dreams fall by the wayside and thoughts of settling down plague you.
Well, I am not experiencing all of the above but I feel that there is a certain sense of pressure to do what the society, parents and friends expect you to do. But honestly, it is MY life and MY life is really what I make it to be.
Career can be strategized but ambition is something which you either have it or don’t. Marriage can be arranged but love is something which should just happen on its own. Thus, what is the point of pre-planning things which are pretty much out of our control? I have a list of “to-do” things which I aim to achieve before settling down and some of them are :
- Get a job which I’ll be proud of & happy to do
- Save up a certain sum of money
Fall in love- Fall in love again
- Travel around the world all by myself
- Go skydiving
Live alone, away from family for at least an year- Make a small contribution to the society
- Do my Post Graduation
Everybody reaches a turning point in their lives and I feel we all should be given ample time and the choice to figure out who we want to be and how we want to live our lives.
Is that too much to ask for, what do you think?
Have you ever gone through a quarter life crisis, how did you deal with it?
